Encounters With The Nagual: Part 1 - Chapter 06. Awareness Of Death.

Encounters With The Nagual © 2004 by Armando Torres:

Part 1 - Chapter 06. Awareness Of Death.

Over the years, my need to understand the world had led me to store a lot of scientific or religious explanations on almost everything; which all had one common denominator-- A great trust in the continuity of man.

But by helping me to see the universe with the eyes of a sorcerer, Carlos destroyed that sensation in me. He made me see that death is an irrevocable reality, and that to avoid acknowledging it by applying second-hand beliefs is shameful.

On one occasion, somebody asked him, "Carlos, what expectations do you have for the future?"

He replied, "There are no expectations. Sorcerers do not have a tomorrow."

One night, a large group of interested people had gathered in the auditorium of a private residence near the area of San Jeronimo. When I arrived, Carlos was already there. He was smiling; busily answering questions.

Carlos' initial topic that night was what he called not-doing.

Not-doing is an activity specially designed to banish any trace of everyday habits from our lives. He affirmed that not-doing is the favorite exercise of apprentices because it introduces them to a marvelous environment, and creates a very refreshing bewilderment for one's energy. The effect not-doing has on one's awareness sorcerers call 'stopping the world'.

In response to some questions, Carlos explained that not-doing cannot be reasoned out. Any effort applied towards interpreting it is in fact a mental working and therefore the effort automatically enters into the field of 'doing'.

Carlos advised us, "When not-doing, the premise of sorcerers for dealing with this kind of practice is inner silence.

"And the quality of silence required for something so enormous as stopping the world can easily come from direct contact with the great truth of our existence-- That we are all going to die.

"If you want to know yourselves, become keenly aware of your personal death. It is not negotiable. Death is the only thing that you can seriously own.

"Everything else may fail, but not death. You can take that as a fact.

"Learn how to use your death to produce real effects in your lives.

"And stop believing in fairy tales of death.

"Nobody out there in the great void needs you. None of us is that important.

"Our self-importance is what invented something as fantastic as immortality.

"A humble sorcerer knows that his destiny is the same as that of any other living being on Earth. So, instead of having false hopes, a warrior works concretely and with great effort to escape the human condition, and to reach the only exit we have-- The breaking of our perceptual barrier.

"While you listen to death's advice, make yourself responsible for your life and for the totality of your actions. Explore yourself, recognize yourself, and live intensely; like sorcerers live. Intensity is the only thing that can save us from boredom.

"Once aligned with death, you will be able to take the next step-- Reducing your baggage to a minimum. This is a prison world, and we must leave it as fugitives. We can not take anything with us.

"Human beings are travelers by nature. To fly and to know other horizons is our destiny. Do you take your bed or your dining table with you on a trip? Synthesize your life!"

Carlos made the comment that humanity in our time has acquired a strange habit that is symptomatic of the mental state we live in.

He said, "When we travel, we buy all kinds of useless souvenirs in other countries; things that we certainly would never buy in our own country. Once we return home, we store them in a corner and end up forgetting their existence; until one day we notice them by chance, and toss them in the garbage.

"And we behave this way on the journey that is our life.

"We are like donkeys carrying everything we have done as a bale of stuff with no value to us.

"In the end when old age assaults us, our bundle serves to afflict some statement or other on us; which we endlessly repeat, like a scratched record.

"A sorcerer asks himself, 'What is the sense of all that? Why invest my resources in something which will not help me at all?'

"My appointment as a sorcerer is with the unknown. I cannot commit my energy to nonsense.

"While you walk the Earth, collect something of true value from it. Otherwise the walk is not worth the effort.

"The power that governs us has granted us a choice. Either we spend life prowling around our familiar habits, or we encourage ourselves to get to know other worlds.

"And the one thing which can give us the necessary jolt is the awareness of death.

"An ordinary person spends his whole existence without ever stopping to reflect because he thinks that death is at the end of life.

"You might think, 'I will always have time for whatever.' But a warrior has discovered that this is not true.

"Death lives beside us at an arm's length away, permanently alert, looking at us, and ready to jump at the smallest provocation.

"The warrior who contemplates death transforms his animal fear of extinction into an opportunity for joy; because the warrior knows that all he or she has is this moment.

"Think as warriors, 'We are all going to die.'"

One of those present asked him, "Carlos, in another lecture you told us that having the spirit of a warrior means seeing death as a privilege. What does that mean?"

Carlos answered, "It means to leave our mental habits behind.

"We are so accustomed to human coexistence that, even face to face with death, we continue thinking in group terms.

"Religions tell of flocks of sheep and goats who go to heaven or to hell according to their fortunes; but religions do not tell us about the individual in contact with the absolute.

"Even if we are atheists and we do not believe that anything happens after death, that 'anything' is generic and we assume it is the same for everybody.

"Most atheists can not conceive of the idea that the power of an impeccable life can change things.

"In the view of such ignorance, it is normal for an ordinary person to feel panic regarding their death, and they try to deal with it with prayers and medicines; or they may try to confuse them-self with the noises of the world.

"Most human beings have an egocentric and extremely simplistic vision of the universe. They never stop to consider our destiny as transitory beings.

"And so, their obsession with the future betrays them.

"The sincerity or cynicism of their convictions makes no difference, because, deep down they all know what is going to happen.

"That is why they leave signs behind. They build pyramids, skyscrapers, make children, write books, or, at the very least, they carve their initials in the bark of a tree. It is our ancestral fear of the silent knowledge of death which is behind those impulses.

"But there is one group of human beings who have been able to face that fear.

"Unlike ordinary people, sorcerers eagerly seek out any situation that will take them beyond social interpretations.

"And what better opportunity than their own extinction.

"Thanks to their frequent excursions into the unknown, sorcerers know that death is not a natural thing in that it is not subject to laws. To die is always a personal event, and for that sole reason it is an act of power.

"Death is the gateway to infinity; a door made to the exact measure of each of us which we will all pass through someday; returning to our origin.

"Our lack of understanding impels us to see it as a common reducer. But no, there is nothing common about it"

A girl who took part in this conversation was clearly affected by Carlos' words, and commented that the obsessive presence of death in his teachings was a detail that contributed to darken them. She would have liked a more optimistic emphasis; more focused on life and its accomplishments.

Carlos smiled, and replied, "Oh sweetheart! Your words show a lack of deep experience with life. Sorcerers are not negative. They do not seek the end. But they know that what gives value to life is having an objective worth dying for.

"The future is unpredictable and inevitable. Some day you will not be here anymore. You will be gone. Do you know that the tree for your coffin has probably been cut already?

"For the warrior and for an ordinary man, the urgency of living is the same because neither knows when they will take the last step. For that reason we have to be attentive to death. It can jump at us from any corner. I knew a guy who went up on a bridge and urinated above a passing electric train. The urine touched the high voltage cables which gave him an electrical shock and burned him to cinders on the spot.

"Death is not a game. It is reality. Without death, there would not be any power in what sorcerers do. Death involves you personally whether you want it to or not.

"You can be so cynical that you discard other topics of these teachings, but you cannot make fun of your end because it is beyond your power to decide, and it is implacable.

"Destiny's coach will take all of us without distinction. But there are two kinds of travelers.

"One type of traveler is ordinary people with boring existences, without creativity, and whose only hope is in the repetition of their stereotypes until the end. These people's end will not make any difference whether this end happens today or in thirty years.

"The other type of traveler is the warriors who can leave with the totality of themselves because they have fine-tuned every detail of their lives.

"We are all there waiting on the platform of eternity, but not everyone acknowledges it. Awareness of death is a great asset and art.

"Warriors put an end to their routines. They do not care anymore whether they have company or are alone because they have heard the silent whisper of the spirit. Warriors say that, truly, they have died. From that point on, even the simplest things in life become extraordinary for them.

"Through this, sorcerers learn how to live again. They taste each moment as if it were the last one. They do not waste any effort on feeling dissatisfied, nor do they throw away their energy. They do not wait until they become old to ponder the mysteries of the world. They are on it. They are exploring. They know and marvel.

"If you want to make a space in your life for the unknown, it will help to be aware of your personal extinction. Accept your destiny of death as the unavoidable fact that it is, and purify that feeling.

"You will then easily become responsible for the incredible event of being alive.

"And do not dream of begging in the presence of death. It will not and can not condescend to those who try.

"Invoke your death; aware that you came to this world to know it. Challenge death; knowing that whatever you do, you do not have the smallest chance of conquering it. Death is as gentle with the warrior as it is merciless with the ordinary man."

At the end of his lecture, Carlos said he was going to give us an exercise.

He said, "This exercise concerns an inventory of your loved ones, and of everybody who concerns you. Once you have classified them according to the degree of feeling that you have for each, you will take them, one by one, and pass them through death."

A murmur of consternation rippled through the listeners.

Making a soothing gesture, Carlos added, "Do not get scared. There is nothing macabre about death. What is macabre is that we cannot face it with deliberation.

"If you are inclined to believe in ghosts, you should do this exercise at midnight; if that helps loosen the fixation of your assemblage point.

"It is very simple. You will evoke your dear beings through to their inevitable end. Do not think about how or when they will die. Simply make yourself aware that some day they will not be there anymore.

"You know that eventually one by one they will leave, and who knows in what order. It does not matter what you try to do to avoid it.

"When evoking them in this exercise, you will not harm them. On the contrary, you will be seeing them in the appropriate perspective.

"A focal point of death is momentous, and can restore true value to your life."